Christmas is a time of unbridled joy – familiar melodies of carols fill the air, twinkling ornaments adorn Christmas trees, and the warmth of joyful gatherings envelop us in a festive atmosphere. It’s a season of shared laughter, love, and togetherness; a time when we gather together with family and friends.
Yet amidst the festive cheer, a stark reality contrasts this. For many seniors in Singapore, Christmas can be a painful reminder of their isolation and loneliness. According to the Ministry of Finance, over 76,000 elderly individuals in Singapore live alone, a number that’s likely to grow as family sizes shrink. By 2030, our ageing population is projected to reach around 122,000 Singaporeans, making loneliness a harsh reality that’s closer to home than we think. Studies have also shown that being lonely has a similar effect on mortality as smoking and cardiovascular disease.
For many seniors, loneliness is not a choice, but a circumstance. Some may feel hesitant to reach out for help, fearing they will burden others. Others may be constrained by limited mobility, declining health or the lack of family support. The consequences can be devastating. In Singapore, there have been at least 37 cases of ‘lonely deaths’ where seniors have passed away alone and their bodies discovered only long after decomposition had set in. The foul smell alerting relevant associations.
The hidden prevalence of loneliness
… loneliness is not a choice but a circumstance
Loneliness is a multifaceted issue with deep-rooted causes. While being alone and unsocialised is often associated with loneliness, research reveals a surprising truth.
According to Professor Koh, assistant dean for faculty development and professor of the NUS Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine’s Healthy Longevity Translational Research Programme, the most socially disconnected individuals are not those living alone, but rather those living among others. The preoccupation with mobile phones has strained emotional connections among family members, causing seniors to feel even more disconnected from the world. Ironically, it detaches one from the present moment and conversations end up becoming superficial or disruptive.
“Even though we are physically present, we are not connecting with each other. If I talk to them, they will ignore me,” an elderly lady lamented to The Straits Times. It’s as simple as breaking off from a conversation to respond to a message, or watching the latest Netflix drama series at the dinner table. Small disruptions slowly snowball over time, festering feelings of neglect and loneliness.
Fostering close relationships
What the elderly need is not as difficult as we think. It’s about prioritising time with them and engaging in actual conversations that collectively foster a strong relationship overtime. Being present and intentional with time together is a true gift to the seniors around us.
Beyond a family unit, it’s about the smallest gestures – a warm smile, a friendly hello and chit chats along the corridor can make a profound difference. Inspired by the distinctive style of American filmmaker Wes Anderson, The Curious Case of Claire Charles tells the story of the residents of Block 61 Chai Chee. When Claire Charles’ daily routine is mysteriously disrupted, her neighbors rally together to investigate and support her. It serves as a reminder about the power of community, especially for vulnerable elderlies who live alone.
…the most socially disconnected individuals are not those living alone but rather those living among others
Addressing social isolation requires a comprehensive approach. To cater to the diverse needs of seniors, Singapore employs the A-B-C model – Active ageing, Befriending, and Care. Initiatives include the Community Networks for Seniors scheme and the Silver Generation Office’s outreach work. Increasingly, more ground-up initiatives are being started such as KampungKakis which pairs up lonely elderly individuals with volunteers living nearby.
By matching seniors to volunteers within a 20-minute walking radius, it reignites the traditional kampung spirit of community and mutual support. Having constant familiar faces and a network of close-knit friends can make a significant difference in their lives. This supportive environment enables them to stay connected, socialise with ease and maintain a sense of belonging in their later years.
Regular interactions with familiar faces help seniors feel linked to their community, encouraging them to participate in social activities and reducing feelings of loneliness. By fostering such connections, a sustainable support system is established and seniors can lead more fulfilling lives.
Cultivating meaningful connections this Christmas
Building a compassionate and inclusive community begins with each of us. A kinder us, a more caring city. This Christmas, let’s be more mindful in rekindling relationships with the elderly around us. A simple act of kindness, such as visiting a lonely senior or offering a listening ear to our grandparents, goes a long way!
How would you reach out to the elderly today? Let us know!