At 20, Kelis Lim is just like any other university student. A first year environmental chemistry student at Nanyang Technological University (NTU), she’s figuring out her modules, making new friends, and juggling school with her hobbies.
But there’s one thing that makes her experience a little different: she was born with Moebius Syndrome, a rare neurological condition that causes facial paralysis.
She can’t smile, faces challenges with certain physical tasks, and has had to navigate people’s reactions to her condition her whole life.
But if you ask her about it, she’ll tell you she doesn’t let it define her.
“It’s just something I was born with, but I’m still just a person,” she says.
Growing Up with Moebius Syndrome
Kelis considers herself lucky – her parents have never treated her differently.
“They always said that my syndrome is what makes me special. I don’t need to be sad because whatever other children could do, I could too,” she shares.
That belief stuck with her, giving her the confidence to face a world that often sees differences before abilities.
Still, it wasn’t always easy. She recalls being bullied in primary school, though teachers intervened quickly. Although she eventually made friends, there were still awkward moments—like when she was asked to smile in photos.
“I just look at them with my usual face. They don’t always understand why,” she says.
She also had to adapt her hobbies and passion to fit her abilities.
“I wanted to join the symphonic band, but I can’t play wind instruments because I can’t blow [with my lips],” she explains.
Instead of giving up, she picked up percussion and succeeded in joining her school’s band, proving that when there’s a will, there’s always another way.
Finding Her Place in Mainstream Education
Academically, Kelis has never had issues keeping up in mainstream schools. Teachers were generally supportive, even making accommodations for oral exams so her pronunciation wouldn’t be unfairly graded.
Socially, things were trickier. When she first entered primary school, making friends was difficult. But as she got older, things got better.
“I’m talkative. I’ll just join conversations, and that helped,” she says.
Now in NTU, she’s part of the symphonic band, continuing her love for music. The university’s Accessibility Education Unit has helped her settle in and ensure her needs are met, but she believes there’s still room for improvement.
While Kelis’s extroverted nature has helped her make friends, others with special needs aren’t as lucky.
“A buddy system for persons with disabilities to connect with each other would be helpful,” she suggests, “Peer support is important, and some might just need a friend who understands their situation.”
Women, Disabilities, and Perceptions
“They might think you’re a baby, but you’re literally not a baby.”
This year’s International Women’s Day theme, Accelerate Action, focuses on making faster progress in equality. While Kelis thinks Singapore has done well in terms of women’s rights, she feels that women with disabilities are sometimes treated differently, often in a patronising manner.
“People might look down on women with disabilities and infantilise them. They think you’re a baby, but you’re literally not a baby,” she says, “We’re just people.”
She has also noticed that support for those with invisible disabilities is still lacking.
“There’s a lot of infrastructure for physical disabilities, which is great, but mental disabilities aren’t being [equally accommodated]. I’ve seen so many posts on Singapore Reddit from people struggling with ADHD or anxiety, and they just don’t get the help they need.”
Kelis’s Message
Kelis doesn’t see herself as an advocate or an inspiration – she’s simply living life on her own terms. But, if she could share one message with other young women, it would be this:
“Don’t let your disability or problems define you. If others laugh at you, yeah, it happens, and it sucks, but try to ignore it. At the end of the day, live life the way you like. Don’t feel the need to follow other people’s expectations.”
She also believes in the power of simple kindness. One interaction during her university orientation left a lasting impression.
“A girl came up to me and asked me about my disability. Most people don’t, maybe because they’re scared or they just assume things. But she was really nice about it, and we actually became friends,” she shares.
It’s moments like these, small but meaningful, that shape people as people.
And that, more than anything, is what makes a difference.
Who is your IWD Hero that inspires you to be greater?