Stepping foot onto the single-decker bus, I overheard the casual exchange between the stranger ahead of me and the bus driver as I boarded the bus to get to campus.
Stepping foot onto the single-decker bus, I overheard the casual exchange between the stranger ahead of me and the bus driver as I boarded the bus to get to campus.
“Good morning, how are you?” the lady before me greeted.
“I’m great, love. Thank you,” the bus driver responded with a smile. The two continued their banter as the lady made her way to an empty seat.
It was my first week as an international student in Perth, Western Australia, and this simple interaction left a lasting impression on me.
As a Singaporean in my early twenties with limited exposure to cultures beyond Asia, I was surprised by the genuine warmth and friendliness I encountered in everyday situations here.
In the past decade of commuting on Singapore’s public transportation, I had never once witnessed passengers greeting or expressing gratitude to bus drivers upon alighting
Guilty as charged, I realise that I too contributed to this lack of basic manners we should be adopting as part of our daily interactions. But here, failing to initiate simple courtesies like saying “please” and “thank you” could potentially mark you as the odd one out or even be seen as disrespectful.
That incident wasn’t the only one that caught my attention when it came to the ways Australians express kindness to those in their environment. Waiting in line to alight at the bus stop near my campus, each student loudly thanked the bus driver as they tapped their bus card.
Not one single person failed to express their gratitude.
When it came to my turn, I followed suit, not wanting to stand out. For some odd reason, it felt really good to say thank you. Perhaps it was the rush of adrenaline from breaking out of my comfort zone, or maybe it was just the inherent joy of being kind.
Bridging the Kindness Gap
After more than two months here, I’ve noticed a shift in my behaviour. I felt that I had become more inclined to be kinder, or perhaps, friendlier toward strangers.
Surprisingly, I discovered later on that I wasn’t the only one experiencing this change as other Singaporean friends I had met here echoed similar sentiments too.
Surrounded by a culture where basic courtesies are part of everyday life, I’ve experienced acts of kindness from fellow Singaporeans living abroad in Perth. A friend had kindly offered to pick me up from the airport, helped me with move in, and even assisted me with some errands as I do not own a car.
In contrast, I doubt I would receive the same level of kindness back home in Singapore.
In urban settings, we often don’t even know our next-door neighbours, making it challenging to offer or receive help.
That on the whole made me wonder and compelled me to learn more about this pervasive issue.
Why are we kinder when we are abroad than in Singapore? And how can we, as Singaporeans, learn from our experiences abroad to adopt kindness in our daily lives?
Cultural Differences Shape Our Response to Kindness
Cultural differences undoubtedly shape our response to kindness. Singapore’s fast-paced urban environment prioritises efficiency over interpersonal connections, whereas Perth’s laidback atmosphere fosters a sense of community.
In addition, Singapore’s social dynamics and values as a whole are vastly different from those of Australia.
Realistically, we Singaporeans do not have the time to stop and smell the roses.
Advancement of technology these days has encouraged us to want things almost immediately, and that includes letting our interactions pass by without appreciating the present moment, things and people.
With time and efficiency placed as utmost importance, kind gestures such as smiling to our neighbours, or saying “please” and “thank you” are often overlooked or deemed unnecessary.
Rooted in an Asian mindset, many of us also express care and concern through actions rather than verbal affirmations. This can be seen in the way our parents and grandparents demonstrate love to us. It is normally through preparing meals, spending quality time together, or even gifting us items like a video game console, rather than explicitly saying “I love you”.
As a result, for many Singaporeans, expressing gratitude verbally may feel unfamiliar or awkward, especially if words of affirmation were not normalised during upbringing.
Known for its relaxed lifestyle and great work-life balance, many people I’ve met in Perth work shorter hours, with a standard workday typically starting at 8am and ending at 3pm or 4pm.
This shorter workday, perhaps, also contributes to the overall morale of Perth citizens, potentially encouraging them to be more open and kind-hearted in their interactions, as Singaporeans may feel physically tired and emotionally drained after a long day at work.
How Can We Learn from this and Encourage Kindness at Home?
These differences aside, we can’t simply blame our upbringing or cultural norms.
While it’s essential to acknowledge these differences, there’s undoubtedly room for improvement when it comes to promoting kindness and empathy.
Reflecting on my experiences abroad, I’ve come to appreciate the positive impact that acts of kindness can have.
Whether it’s saying a simple “thank you” or offering a smile, these gestures can brighten someone’s day and foster a sense of belonging. By embracing these values and incorporating them into our daily lives, we can create a more compassionate and inclusive society.
No matter how busy life gets, it’s important to take the time to acknowledge and appreciate those around us. A simple “thank you” can go a long way in creating a more compassionate and inclusive society.
If words are uncomfortable for you to say, even a smile can say a lot. It’s a universal language with almost infinite nuance. Of course, if you aren’t in a rush and have the time to savour the present moment, I encourage you to express “please” and “thank you” more frequently.
As we navigate the complexities of our interconnected world, why not take a proactive step towards fostering a culture of kindness with us at the Kindness Day SG Festival from 13 to 19 May?
Taking place all week at Plaza Singapura, the event celebrates the spirit of kindness. Through a wide range of activities, we can not only strengthen our community spirit but also instil in our children the invaluable lesson of empathy and kindness.