Get good grades. Land a high-paying job. Buy a BTO. Rinse and repeat.

In Singapore, success often feels like a well-rehearsed script –one that prioritises salaries, titles, and social status. From a young age, we’re told to follow a path that leads to material success, measured in dollars and degrees. But what if success isn’t just about climbing the corporate ladder? What if success looks completely different for someone else? 

The Unspoken Rules We Live By

Make eye contact. Speak clearly. Sit still. Respond quickly.

These aren’t laws, but they’re treated like universal standards of “proper” behaviour. Most of us follow them without thinking. But for someone on the autism spectrum, these rules can be exhausting, confusing or impossible. And the worst part? Breaking them often invites judgement.

In Singapore, Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) affects a significant portion of the population. Studies estimate that approximately 1 in 150 children are diagnosed with autism, a rate higher than the World Health Organization’s global figure of 1 in 160.

But what if we stopped treating these rules as defaults? 

What if we valued people for who they are, rather than how well they conform?

Rethinking Work and Worth

Craft activities for clients at Eden Centre for Adults. (Image Source: Eden Centre)

Employment remains a major hurdle for autistic individuals, with many struggling to find opportunities in a society that values efficiency and social fluency over inclusivity.

“We need more calm spaces, more supported employment opportunities, and much more understanding,” says Sarayanan Mariappa, Head of Adult Programmes and Services at Autism Association.

The centre, which works with autistic adults, believes success isn’t about job titles or paychecks – it’s about personal milestones. “For some, success is taking the MRT alone for the first time. For others, it’s preparing a meal or simply building relationships,” shares Sarayanan. “Every milestone counts.” 

The centre also partners with companies like SGX and SAP to create volunteer programmes that foster understanding. “It’s about showing that there’s no one-size-fits-all definition of success.”

Crunchy Teeth bakers hard at work. (Image Source: Crunchy Teeth)

At Crunchy Teeth, a bakery founded by Nancy Foo and three fellow mums of autistic children, the goal isn’t to fit neurodivergent individuals into rigid work structures – it’s to create an environment where they can thrive.

“We’re about creating a space where they can flourish exactly as they are,” shares Nancy. Interns at the bakery engage in baking, packaging, and events in a sensory-friendly setting, finding their own rhythm and confidence.

Breaking Free from Society’s Mould

Singapore thrives on structure and order. But what if some of these structures exclude people?

Sherry Soon, founder of Be Kind SG, challenges how we perceive “appropriate” behaviour. “A lot of what’s seen as ‘inappropriate’ is just someone trying to regulate themselves. A child running in a library might not be misbehaving—they might just be overwhelmed and need movement.”

Job coaches working with clients at Eden Centre for Adults. (Image Source: Eden Centre)

Sarayanan adds, “Many unwritten rules, like making eye contact or engaging in small talk, are second nature to neurotypicals but can be difficult for autistic individuals due to their unique needs and sensory sensitivities.”

Maybe the problem isn’t the rules themselves. Maybe it’s how rigidly we enforce them.

How You Can Support

Be Kind SG at The Purple Parade 2024. (Image Source: Be Kind SG)

This World Autism Awareness Day, let’s celebrate the autistic community not by asking them to change, but by changing the way we see them. Here’s how you can help:

  1. Buy from Crunchy Teeth – Support inclusive employment by ordering from their bakery online. Every treat you buy helps build confidence and skills.
  2. Volunteer or donate to Be Kind SG – Help run inclusive events for children and families. Visit them online or follow @bekindsg on Instagram.
  3. Support Eden Centre for Adults – Volunteer at the centre or help fund in-house vocational programmes for autistic adults.
  4. Be an everyday ally – Be patient in public spaces. Rethink ‘inappropriate’ behaviour. Speak up when you see judgement.

Maybe success isn’t about blending in. Maybe it’s about being seen (and celebrated) for who you already are. Stories like Alex Lim’s and The Purple Symphony remind us that success is not a “one-size-fits-all” concept.

This April 2, let’s redefine success, not by forcing people to fit into a mould, but by recognising the beauty in different ways of thriving.

How do you define success? Let us know!